(Fighters Guild Quest) Goblin took my baby!

[XXMagma5]

Intro:
A member of the Thorn Fighters Guild gives you a quest in which a mother is missing a baby. The PC is then to talk to the mother and ask her what has happened exactly. But the PC arrives to find the woman in a drunken stupor. The PC must now ask around town if they have seen a missing child anywhere. After a few disposition maxes he discovers that the child was last seen at Pilgrim Cove looking at the sea. The man approached the child but she ran away.
Pilgrim Cove:
The PC travels to Pilgrim Cove and finds nothing at all but does find a small locked cave. The PC talks to the Duke of Thorn and asks for the key but he tells him that the cave is filled with monsters and has been locked for years. The PC must then find another entrance into the cave. Once inside the player finds monsters everywhere and must fight to get through it. Once at the bottom of the cave he finds a small corpse of a little girl. Her diary reads:
My mother hit me. She hit me very hard and I ran as fast as I could to this cave. All the monsters let me through. But mommy came down some how and hit me till I bled. I write this in my blood. To whom it may concern: Kill my mommy.
Your journal then says that this is suspicious for a child of 4ys to write with no grammar and spelling mistakes.
As you turn around the mother is standing there.

Abrigailie Harnosk: Oh! You found that little journal. Splendid. You killed all the monsters for me. Now your tired and I can kill you easily.

Player: How have you done this? How did you put this down here if you can't fight the monsters?"

Abrigailie Harnosk: An adventurer killed all of them for me. I said the same thing that my child was down here and oh how he ran! He was then to tired to fight me. I put the journal there to put them off guard as I slice their heads off. But you I felt like I should talk to. Tell you and then leave you for dead knowing your a dumb bastard. Now I'm going to take all your stuff.

You kill Abrigailie and report to the fighters guild and are rewarded.

P.S: the title is there as I'm Australian and a dingo took a baby once. Supposedly! So I made it Ozzy with a hint of TES.
P.S.S:Hope you guys liked it. If you do. Make any changes that will make it better but I claim this. (I'm new here and I don't how to so I'll just say I do) And I would like to see this in the Guild quests if it is up to the standards.

[Xae]

This one has some potential.

Originally posted by XXMagma5
Intro:
A member of the Thorn Fighters Guild gives you a quest in which a mother is missing a baby. The PC is then to talk to the mother and ask her what has happened exactly. But the PC arrives to find the woman in a drunken stupor. The PC must now ask around town if they have seen a missing child anywhere. After a few disposition maxes he discovers that the child was last seen at Pilgrim Cove looking at the sea. The man approached the child but she ran away.

The missing child-spiel is a solid common start for moderately significant quests. Most players will know from just hearing it that the quest will be of a certain kind.

Pilgrim Cove:
The PC travels to Pilgrim Cove and finds nothing at all but does find a small locked cave. The PC talks to the Duke of Thorn and asks for the key but he tells him that the cave is filled with monsters and has been locked for years. The PC must then find another entrance into the cave.

This is classic. "Filled with monsters, has been locked for years" is a very common RPG setting as old as the genre itself; from Lufia, Final Fantasy and beyond.

Once inside the player finds monsters everywhere and must fight to get through it. Once at the bottom of the cave he finds a small corpse of a little girl. Her diary reads:
My mother hit me. She hit me very hard and I ran as fast as I could to this cave. All the monsters let me through. But mommy came down some how and hit me till I bled. I write this in my blood. To whom it may concern: Kill my mommy.
Your journal then says that this is suspicious for a child of 4ys to write with no grammar and spelling mistakes.

From this point on I'd make a few rewrites.

The diary: "My mother hit me. She hit me hard. I ran as fast as I could and I found this cave. The monsters let me through but mommy followed me and hit me again until I bled. To whoever reads this: Please kill mommy."

Quest notice: "I found the diary of the missing girl but there's something not right about it. I feel wrong reading it, and it looks like it's written in blood."

Now, when I read this I immediately go to the "lure for white knight"-scene. In other words, there never was a girl and all this is just to attract some poor unlucky fellow trying to help. I would continue the quest as follows.

The "mother" does appear when the player turns around, however she now looks like a large spriggan.

Abrigayle Haronsk (changed the name): "(spoken whispery and childlike) Sleep, touch the book and sleep! A feast, we're having a feast!"

The player falls to the ground (obviously poisoned from reading the book) and is teleported (i.e. loading screen-ed) to another chamber.

You find yourself in a room filled with all manner of various enemies, all wanting to kill and eat you. Among them is Abrigayle. The place is littered with bones, dead adventurer's gear and gold. Once you've slain the lot, you fight your way back up through the cave, out the door that was locked, and then return to the FG for your reward.|

I'm not sure about the title. Might have to think more on that one.

[XXMagma5]

Thank you. That is so much better. I am really happy now that it is far better. And the name is kinda stupid but it'll stick until I come up with something else. And I liked the idea of the Spriggan. And sorry about the cliche monster cave thing! And I think we should make some note that the child was really the Spriggan playing Illusion magic tricks.

[Ibsen's Ghost]

I'm just glad you mentioned Thorn which is clearly one of our locations. It shows you're picking up on the lore. Personally, I'm not a lore fanatic as I prefer to free up the creativity but it's an essential guiding force for the cohesiveness of the mod as a whole.

[XXMagma5]

MM. It seems like a cool place to me as it is at risk of getting attacked by the Dunmer due there hatred through the slave driving. And it isn't too far from sea so It can have some importing and exporting maybe. So it is a town with risk which what I like. I also don't like to write too many quests in the same area. Then it ll seems to pile on at once.
Sorry I meant slave driving as they were the ones who slave drove Argonians and the Dunmer might attack for more slaves (although it is illegal) or might attack Argonia before Argonia attacks Morrownd.
While on the subject of Morrowind; has the Red Year happened yet. If so it would be cool to have some troops marching along the roads towards the border to conquer the crippled Dunmer. And I am a bit of a Lore whore1 I know some neat stuff but not a LOT OF STUFF!

[The Old Ye Bard]

Originally posted by XXMagma5
MM. It seems like a cool place to me as it is at risk of getting attacked by the Dunmer due there hatred through the slave driving. And it isn't too far from sea so It can have some importing and exporting maybe. So it is a town with risk which what I like. I also don't like to write too many quests in the same area. Then it ll seems to pile on at once.
Sorry I meant slave driving as they were the ones who slave drove Argonians and the Dunmer might attack for more slaves (although it is illegal) or might attack Argonia before Argonia attacks Morrownd.
While on the subject of Morrowind; has the Red Year happened yet. If so it would be cool to have some troops marching along the roads towards the border to conquer the crippled Dunmer. And I am a bit of a Lore whore1 I know some neat stuff but not a LOT OF STUFF!

The mod is set at the same time as OB, Red Year is still a few years off.

[XXMagma5]

OK. Just wondered is all. Sohave they seceded yet?