[Misc Quest] Heart Shaped Box

[Shakes]

Hey everyone,

This is a misc quest for Soulthis I thought id do in conjunction with my first house claim. If you could read over it and give suggestions or alterations that would be great. I can handle criticism people! It seems a little dialouge heavy but feels like it would be hard to do without...see what you think.

Please note the incomplete locations such as ___ inn. Locations havent been finalised yet!

NPCs:
Varlas Halvannu: Retired Redoran guard, originally from Vvardenfell. Evidently having problems coping with something terrible that happened there.
Falonwe Halvannu: Varlas' wife. A pleasant Altmer. Gentle and caring but is having trouble coping with her husbands problems.

Short: You can either bump into Varlas at the tavern he's sulking in or find Falonwe in her home or searching for him in the street to start the quest. Theyve been arguing over whether Varlas can keep his fathers knucklebone in the shrine in their house, a Dunmer tradition which is seen as barbaric by Altmer.
After a bit of back and forth message delivery between the two, Falonwe asks the player to buy a patterned Dunmer Box to keep it in - a compromise. The player is given only 50gp and the box will cost somewhere near 150gp. If they make this sacrafice 'for the sake of love' with no promise of reward yet, they will receive the reward below.

Reward: A fairly low level enchanted item that would be useful to a player up to about level 10, or can be sold for around 300gp.
At this stage I was thinking an amulet with +5-7 fortify personality or speechcraft or something.


Dialouge & Triggers:
________________________________________________________

// This scene happens if the player bumps into Varlas at the inn without meeting his wife
Chapter 1 Scene 1a: Talking to Varlas Halvannu at the ___ inn
Trigger: None (Start of the Quest)
Consequence: Topic 'Wife' is activated in NPC Varlas
Player actions: Talking to Varlas who is sitting at the inn – he wont actively seek but it will be his greeting
Log1a: "I met a man named Varlas at the inn who seems angry with his wife."
Dialogue:
Varlas100-Greeting01: “Oh I suppose you're here to confiscate my fathers bone off of me are you? You're no better than my wife.”

// This scene happens if the player goes near Falonwe in Dhryss Plaza or in her home – // she will actively approach and initiate the conversation
Chapter 1 Scene 1b: Approached by Falonwe
Trigger: None (Start of the Quest)
Consequence: Topic 'Fight' is activated in NPC Falonwe
Player actions: Talking to Falonwe – she may actively aproach him
Log1b: "An Altmer named Falonwe told me about a fight she had with her missing hunsband, Varlas Halvannu."
Dialogue:
- Falonwe100-Greeting01: “Oh my husband. He's been missing for days...Have you seen him?”
- Player101-Topic01: "Husband"
- Falonwe101-Answer01: "His name is Varlas...Varlas Halvannu. He's an ex Redoran guard, you see. Oh I'm so worried, he stormed out a couple of days ago after the fight.”


Chapter 1 Scene 2: Getting the Quest
Trigger: Log1
Consequence: Topic 'Varlas Halvannu' is activated in NPCs around district 12, and on guards in the district near the inn he is in. Topics 'Wife' and 'Ald'Ruhn' activated on NPC Varlas
Player actions: Talking to Falonwe
Log2: "I talked to Falonwe, who is very distraught about her missing husband. She wants me to find him and tell him to come home."
Dialogue:
- Player201-Topic01: "Fight"
- Falonwe201-Answer01: "Oh its all just so silly. He wants to keep his father's knuckle bone in our shrine. A bone! Just sitting there...
- Falonwe202-Answer01: "I know he's been a bit tense since we had to leave Ald'Ruhn, but this was a bit much. If you could find him and try to talk some sense into him I would be most grateful. Could you do this for me?"
- Player202-Answer01a: "Yes"
- Player202-Answer01b: “No”
- Falonwe202-Answer02a: "Thank you so much. You did look like the caring type"
- Falonwe202-Answer02b: ”Oh, what am I going to do. -sobs-.”


Chapter 1 Scene 3a: Finding Varlas – whole town
Trigger: Log2
Consequence: None
Player actions: Talking to local residents
Log3: "Varlas was seen in the _______ district. I should seek him there."
Dialogue:
- Player301-Topic01: "Varlas Halvannu"
- Guard/Citizen301-Answer01: "Varlas? Yes, I'm fairly sure I did see him in the ____ district yesterday. "


Chapter 1 Scene 3b: Finding Varlas – district of the inn
Trigger: Log2
Consequence: None
Player actions: Talking to guards around the _______ district
Log4: "Varlas was spotted recently at the ____ inn. I should go in and speak with him."
Dialogue:
- Player301-Topic01: "Varlas Halvannu"
- Guard301-Answer01: "Yes I saw him at the ____ inn just before. He didn't look his greatest."

Chapter 1 Scene 4: Speaking with Varlas
Trigger: Log 1a or Log2
Consequence: Topic 'Not coming home' added to NPC Falonwe
Player actions: Finding and talking to Varlas
Log5: "I spoke with Varlas Halvannu. He said to tell Falonwe back in Dhryss Plaza he wont come home until she lets him put his Fathers bone in their shrine."
Dialogue:
- Player401-Topic01: "Wife"
- Varlas401-Answer01: "Falonwe? She is a stupid, stubborn woman. No appreciation for tradition. We dunmer have kept our ancestors remains in our family shrines for...well...all of recorded history."
- Varlas401-Answer02: "If you see her around our house in the Dhryss Plaza area, you can tell her from me – I'm NOT coming home till she ends this nonsense." (Force out of convo)

// this is an optional topic not relevant to the quest, it just gives a little background to varlas
//not really necessary i spose
Chapter 1 Scene 4a:
Trigger: Log2
Consequence: none
Player actions: Talking to Varlas
Log5: no log needed
Dialogue:
- Player401-Topic01: "Ald'Ruhn"
- Varlas401-Topic01: “Have you been there? Last I heard it was in ruin, Almsivi save us. Overrun by Daedra. I was one of the honour guard Under-Skar once. It was my life, until....I can't talk about it, I'm sorry.”

Chapter 1 Scene 5:
Trigger: Log5
Consequence: Dunmer Display box added to ___ merchant, 50 gold added to player, topic “Box” added to Varlas
Player actions: Returning to talk to Falonwe
Log6: "Falonwe has agreed to let Varlas keep the bone in a patterned box I am to purchase. I should check out the local merchants and take it to him."
Dialogue:
- Player501-Topic01: "Not coming home"
- Falonwe501-Answer01: “You found him! Oh I'm so happy. Look I don't care about the bone anymore. After you left I realised there are more important things to life.”
- Falonwe501-Answer02: “He looked after me for so long. Protected me, you know. And now I must return him the same courtesy.”
- Falonwe501-Answer03: “There's a box I saw one day shopping around here somewhere. A little display case, with dunmer patterns on it. Here, take this gold. If you could take the box to him I would be forever indebted to you.”

Chapter 1 Scene 6:
Trigger: Log6
Consequence: Varlas return home script and topic. Falonwe “Gift” script and topic.
Player actions: Buy box and give it to Varlas
Log7: "I gave the box to Varlas. After a bit of convincing he decided to return home. I should speak with them tomorrow."
Dialogue:
Player601-Topic01: "Box"
- Varlas601-Answer01: “Well look at that little thing. Falonwe wanted you to give this to me? Yes, the patterns remind me of the carving in my armour. This will be perfect for the shrine.”
- Varlas601-Answer02: “I do really miss her. I just got so blinded with anger. I should get home and apologise. Make sure you drop by tomorrow, friend.” (forced out of convo, he walks off)

// Not a necessary part, but Varlas will greet with this and the conversation will end immediately
Chapter 1 Scene 7a:
Trigger: Log7
Consequence: None
Player actions: Go back and speak to Varlas after a few hours
Log8: "Varlas thanked me and told me to speak to Falonwe."
Dialogue:
Varlas701-Greeting01: “Blessings muthsera, I thank you once again. You should speak with Falonwe, I think she has something for you.”

Chapter 1 Scene 7b:
Trigger: Log7
Consequence: Quest end, give player reward
Player actions: Go back and speak to Falonwe after a few hours
Log9: "Falonwe thanked me and gave me a lovely gift."
Dialogue:
Falonwe701-Greeting01: “You are so very kind for all of this and for that I thank you. My grandmother used to say ' Its easy to ignore, still easier to be ignored'. ”
Falonwe701-Greeting02: “She was a lovely lady, and I can't help but be reminded of her when I look at you. That is why I want you to have this necklace of hers.”



Thanks if you got this far!

[Cuthalion]

I like it, it looks great though some of the dialogue could use a little tweaking (remember, 'people' don't readily admit they were wrong) but on the whole it looks like we should implement it.

If you need a voiceactor, I'm available.

[Shakes]

I appreciate the feedback Cuthalion. Are there specific examples you can point out? Its really hard to critique your own writing, though I did write it all in a bit over an hour. Maybe I should wait a few days and come back to it.

Are you referring to Falonwe conceding in her argument about the bone?

Voice acting would be great. Ive actually been practicing my morrowind style dumner, but the closest I have to 'recording equipment' is a crappy webcam.

[SACarrow]

I've actually been practicing my Morrowind style dumner, but the closest I have to 'recording equipment' is a crappy webcam.

Feel free to post a sample over at Acoustic Development. Almost certainly not usable in itself, but more Dunmre voices always welcome! A towel should suffice to keep it audio-only.

The Voice Guy

[Cuthalion]

The dialogue that could use tweaking:

“You found him! Oh I'm so happy. Look I don't care about the bone anymore. After you left I realised there are more important things to life.”

“Well look at that little thing. Falonwe wanted you to give this to me? Yes, the patterns remind me of the carving in my armour. This will be perfect for the shrine.”

“I do really miss her. I just got so blinded with anger. I should get home and apologise. Make sure you drop by tomorrow, friend.”

“You are so very kind for all of this and for that I thank you. My grandmother used to say ' Its easy to ignore, still easier to be ignored'. ”

[Shakes]

@Cuthalion thanks man, its amazing how many times you can re read your own work and still miss things that sound a litlle ridiculous. Ill work on those bits.

@Steve lol thanks for the tip. I didnt realise you were serious at first, as I imagined a cheap webcam would give pretty sub par recording quality. I spose its the internet connection that ends up making the voices sound crappy more so than the mic isnt it. Ill play around with it a bit and see if its any good. Are there any good free programs you use?