BM - Periptero's guide to Stormhold

[Deeza]

Not intended as competition for andy's more "serious" guides, this is a short guide written by the guy who runs the kiosk in the square of Stormhold. If you like it I may write more. Periptero is a very knowledgeable Argonian but is trying to make his pamphlet seem more "up-market" than its rivals, to the point of being almost incomprehensible:

Stormhold is a Great Imperial City, representing niceness of the highest standard of Quality, revealed as of the expectations of the esteemed vistor. Implanted in the year of the Conquest by the Number Two Empire of Reman Cyrodiil, Stormhold, city of the Marsh Elfs, has ever been the Capitol and First Point of call for visitors seeking to retain the civilised life upon entrance to this Province. Periptero humbly offers this briefest of guides to the many sights and conveniences of this citadel, for their comfort and experience during their sojourn.

1. Periptero, your All-in-One-Stop-Man for Informative Discourse and Expendables, humble author of this leaflet, keeps shop in the main plaza of Stormhold underneath the be-caged giant root of indigenous mysteries. Available at any time of night or day at your convenience, I offer prices of the most beneficial nature obtainable within the interior of the walls. Visit me as your first recommendation of experiencing the city.

2. Ruins of the Marsh Elf Kind, are to be found in abundance throughout the city, the finest of examples being as exemplary specimens the Phoenix Statue, equidistant betwixt the Cathedral of Eight And One Divinities and again between the Park of the Imp Statues. This magnificent symbol of bygone spleandour was reconstructed with much labour and interpolation from fragments observed in the ruins. Many other examples restricted in access can be observed distantly affixed to the walls of Stormhold Castle and betwixt houses.

3. High Cathedral of Divine Akatosh and Aspect of Caring Mara - example of oldest excellence in field of Black Marsh theological discourse, most memorably made solid in stone excresences from the famed master of masonry Tiligrael of Lillandril. Demolished fourfold by repeated fires and diverse rebellious sentiments, the most present incarnation being created by the most generous benefaction of Lord Iulius Rottmere. Be sure to view for your satisfaction the statuettes of All Nine Divines in the ceiling alcoves, and also the emotive Chapel of Mara for the more private consolations of pious visitations.

4. The Iulius Rottmere Museum of Argonian Folklore - Unavoidable for the satisfactory delectation of visitors to the Citadel is this armamentarium par excellence of primordial lacertalogical collections produced through the unfailing munificence of famed colonialist, Lord Iulius Rottmere. Contained within its numerous dioramas may be found relicts of eras ancient and diverse of indigenous culture, for the edification of participants.

Periptero humbly wishes esteemed clients the most superlative of visitations to this humble Citadel, and eagerly anticpates your posterior return.

[jucklesjenk]

So would Periptero be the only one who sells this?

Presumably there would also be a few copies on his desk for reading, but in the stores, andy's guides would be more dominant?

[Deeza]

That's the idea. It's a freebie he gives out to encourage people to come to his shop. Andy's would be the "official" version you could buy in stores.

[Ibsen's Ghost]

My my, Periptero is a little 'wordy', isn't he? It would be nice to have him as a pretentious little sod who regards himself the master of Stormhold...

[Deeza]

Oh, yes! It would be nice to have some unique dialogue for the guy if that's possible.