Ashlander jokes and sayings

[Moryal]

Don't forget that not everyone on Vvardenfell is a Dunmer, is there any reason why the other races can't tell jokes?

[Seniosh]

You could definitely include all or most of these as a special class of dialogue for drunken dunmer. Especially if they were voiced, imagine walking into a bar, and hearing one of these?

[A_flyboy]

Originally posted by Seniosh
You could definitely include all or most of these as a special class of dialogue for drunken dunmer. Especially if they were voiced, imagine walking into a bar, and hearing one of these?

Hehehe that would be way better than that stupid drunk in Cheydinhal
"flyyyyyyyyyin Flyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyin flyyyin so high! clif racer flyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy- hik!


Oh I came up with more for the cliff racer joke :

And more annoying than an angered little slaughterfish

And a school-tshirt-appropriate toothbrush joke:

Blablabla reeeeeaaaly slowly

Oh thats a horible way to speak of our leaders you PATHETIC LITTLE N-
WAIT YOU SICK FOOL! They were brushing there teeth![both laugh]


What do you get when you make a thousand netches mad?
IDK
Acid rain.
[both laugh]

What do all civilizations have, can subdue any imperial, nords are immune to, wood elves make good gold smuggling into forts, and makes you not care about cliff racers?

Death?

No, Nordic ale.
[both laugh]

What do you get when you cross a slaughterfish with an apple and a plate?

Huh?

Dinner
[both laugh]

What do you get when you cross a guar with vivec?

Morningwind: who cares?

No, you get a magic guar or a really smelly and stupid Vivec!
[both laugh]

edit:
Ah and my sisters jokes:

What do you get when you put a scrib in a mill?

A sticky mess?

No, scrib jelly!
[both laugh]

How do you escape a very angry guar?

Run?

Hide in a corner their heads are to big!
[both laugh]

If a mudcrab and a slaughterfish had a race who would win:

The slaughterfish?

No the slaughterfish saw someone step in the water, so the mudcrab won.

How do you make a guar really mad?

How?

Make its corkbulb levitate just out of reach!
[both laugh]

Or you could put seaweed in his corkbulb!
[both laugh]

[Hector the Hooded]

Err.....flyboy, I'm going to edit your post to make it easier to read. No offense!

Edit : Done, hope you don't mind, some folks just have a hard time reading when things are sorta jumbeled up!

[Arbiter]

Originally posted by Seniosh
You could definitely include all or most of these as a special class of dialogue for drunken dunmer. Especially if they were voiced, imagine walking into a bar, and hearing one of these?

No amount of peanut bribes could force me to say some of those jokes K-man wrote there.

You're nasty. :lmao:

[A_flyboy]

.... that made it harder to read ....

ill organize it for you:
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
Oh I came up with more for the cliff racer joke :

And more annoying than an angered little slaughterfish
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
And a school-tshirt-appropriate toothbrush joke:

Blablabla reeeeeaaaly slowly

Oh thats a horible way to speak of our leaders you PATHETIC LITTLE N-
WAIT YOU SICK FOOL! They were brushing there teeth!
[both laugh]

---------------------------------------------------------------------------
What do you get when you make a thousand netches mad?
IDK
Acid rain.
[both laugh]
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
What do all civilizations have, can subdue any imperial, nords are immune to, wood elves make good gold smuggling into forts, and makes you not care about cliff racers?

Death?

No, Nordic ale.
[both laugh]
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
What do you get when you cross a slaughterfish with an apple and a plate?

Huh?

Dinner
[both laugh]
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
What do you get when you cross a guar with vivec?

Morningwind: who cares?

No, you get a magic guar or a really smelly and stupid Vivec!
[both laugh]
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
Ah and my sisters jokes:

What do you get when you put a scrib in a mill?

A sticky mess?

No, scrib jelly!
[both laugh]
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
How do you escape a very angry guar?

Run?

Hide in a corner their heads are to big!
[both laugh]
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
If a mudcrab and a slaughterfish had a race who would win:

The slaughterfish?

No the slaughterfish saw someone step in the water, so the mudcrab won.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
How do you make a guar really mad?

How?

Make its corkbulb levitate just out of reach!
[both laugh]

Or you could put seaweed in his corkbulb!
[both laugh]
---------------------------------------------------------------------------